Nothing Stays the Same

As much as I love writing and blogging, I find myself lost within this mental fog. There are numerous topics I want to venture into, but sorting out the direction of this blog is my dilemma.

So with that being said, I am going to send out my last little note today. It has been an absolute joy, reading and sharing opinions with you.

At this time, I will not give an estimated time when, or if I will return back to the blog. Insha'Allah if I do...I hope to be more energized and fearless!

No matter what the future holds, is not for me to say. But I know that giving refuge to the opinions of some, is no longer healthy. This life we live is not a test...there are no "do-overs" either we get it right, or we fail.

However during the time we are here, we are constantly searching. The search for truth, our place in this world, for value of our lives to others etc.

Insha Allah along the way these discoveries will be realized. In the meantime may all of us learn (myself especially) never give up the wonder of discovery.

Okay everyone keep positive thoughts because the negative ones will survive just fine without our encouragement.(smile)

Thank you for allowing me to share some of my thoughts and my heart.

Hi Everyone!

The holidays of Ramadan and Eid have gone...so now I will return back to my blog. Insha'Allah everyone has been in good health since we last touched base. This is just a brief little post to say hi, and that you have been missed.

For all who sent me good wishes for Ramadan, my very best for you and your families. Okay I will try and post tomorrow insha'Allah. In the mean time hugs and my duas to everyone!

To the Ummah With Love

Allah's Messenger (SAAW) said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained." [Bukhari]

Ramadan Mubarak to all Muslims around the world!

This is not my usual post; instead it is simply an extended prayer. As we continue with our fasting and worship to Allah SWT let us each ponder over this feeling of unity.

There are no additional hours in the days, yet during this month we are able to accomplish all that we need to do. Our emotions towards one another are gentler; the Salams flow from our mouths like honey.

Insha’Allah we will continue to hold onto these beautiful experiences shared within our families and communities. May each prayer and day of fasting be accepted and rewarded Ameen. I will be keeping you each in my prayers…love you all for the sake of Allah!

It's Almost Here!

Exactly one week from today is the beginning of Ramadan! During this month, the majority of Muslims will celebrate this spiritual time with fasting and insha’Allah a symbolic cleansing of the soul.

Subhan Allah two years ago I experienced my 1st Ramadan. As a new Muslim I was so excited! But not for the reason you may think, because I mostly heard about the worldly part of this blessed month.

Sisters would tell me the fasting, probably being difficult the first few days, would become easier insha’Allah as the month continued. This was said in a matter-of-fact kind of way not giving much emphasis on the true meaning of fasting. As a new Muslim of only six months at that time, I was like a student, following my sisters for guidance.

So what did elicit the most excitement? It was the planning of the meals! I felt the meals during Ramadan had to be greater, and larger than any other meal experienced during the entire year! Recipes from the old countries [back home] were being emailed and translated from one relative to the next. The search for the perfect lamb or goat was essential. Sweets were being prepared days in advance, while the children counted down the days until receiving their Eid gifts.

I would call some of my sisters, and could hear the stress in their voices to finish cooking. The second the sun had settled below the horizon…it was on! Iftar (the meal after sunset) is meant to give thanks to Allah [swt]. The purpose of eating iftar is to have just enough to end the pangs of thirst and enjoy family and friends insha’Allah. Eating until you physically can not take another bite or sip or water, is never good. We should weigh less after a month of fasting – not more LOL.

The next “important” thing I learned was making sure to get my dress early. “What dress I asked?” Feeling a notable awkward silence, it was explained, usually sisters will by a new dress for themselves and new clothes for the entire family. Sorry husbands, but I hear you have to participate also in getting new clothes.

Eid is the Festival of Sacrifice and marks the end of Ramadan. So that was my 1st Ramadan, and it was nice and I was excited but not for the right reasons.

Just as I had searched for Islam, I also had to discover the heart of Ramadan. It is to ask for the repentance of past sins and mistakes. We are to ask forgiveness from one another if possible. If this is not feasible, then our intentions should reflect a sincere change for the better.

Reciting the entire Qur’an is also performed during the month insha’Allah. In case you’re wondering, I never bought a new dress for that 1st Eid or the next. And while my meals were simple, it was the idea of millions and millions of Muslims across the world united that truly fed my faith.

To my new revert sisters and brothers in Islam, I pray for your trials to be few but Allah knows best. There is nothing we can do that Allah [swt] will not forgive except associating others in worship to Him.

For all Muslims, insha’Allah we will leave behind our past faults. And start the New Year filled with hope. May we each live to see this Ramadan. I love you all for the sake of Allah [swt].

Marriage and I Do?!

Happy Summer everyone! Let me give a heartfelt thank you, for staying with me and to my new followers. I have missed my (our) blog more than you know.

Okay the window is open, and there is not a breeze to be found for miles…have summers become hotter? Yes! The answer is a resounding yes. But what can we expect in July; anyway recently I have been taking on the role of my own guardian/wali and cheerleader. The saying “taking the matters into your own hands”, has never been more appropriate.

These are the times I miss my best friend, without failure she would know exactly what to say to cheer me up – or have me laughing endlessly at life’s ups and downs. I have told everyone possible (almost) that I am on a quest to re-enter the land of marriage. Now for all you sisters who are sailing in the same boat as I…you know the combination of oddly bizarre mixed with “are you serious?” proposals that are being offered. LOL, there is a vast space between wanting to be married and being desperate to get married.

One particular brother required that his wife “keep the television on CNN and the news only, not talk much and know her place” in his home.

Hmm, now I know sisters you are asking yourselves…how is this brother still single? Shocker I know [cough] let’s just say I am almost 99.9% certain that he is still available. Email me if you would like to be introduced (insert laughter at anytime) and I will arrange an introduction. And for that .01% who think he is perfect, then masha Allah.

Seriously I know there is compromise in every marriage and through time insha’Allah both husband and wife, will learn to exist in their own harmony. But if a person is going to be so rigid in his/her wants and beliefs, the odds of finding that harmonious balance will be limited.

Only Allah swt knows for certain if and when this Muslima will ever get married. Until then I will keep smiling and making dua’s. Again thanks so much for checking back to see if I have updated the blog. Hopefully I will be able to keep it more current insha’Allah.

Oh if you hear of any available older (not ancient) brothers who are sincerely interested in marriage…you have my email.

Keep cool and Hugs!


The photo is from www.zazzle.com  greetings cards

Home Is In the Heart

He came outside carrying a weathered silver tray, which held two glasses of hot tea. Graciously he offers his neighbor the first glass. The two men sat overlooking the view and fell into what seemed to be a long conversation. You could see from the way each settled into the chairs, this was a familiar routine.

The place -- was Gaza and the view was masses of rubble and destroyed homes. The landscape now existed forever in their memories. However in the distance across the fence were the luscious green trees of Israeli territory.

I was watching a documentary on Al Jazeera. The family was just one of the 1.5 million affected by the occupation of Gaza. There is no possible way I could express the horror and oppression of these families. However, what captured my heart was the humanity.

The family lived under a tarp of heavy plastic blended with scraps of fabric. The pieces of steel rods found by their father acted as a frame for their home. A few pieces that were salvageable filled in the empty spaces.

The parents raised their seven children living in conditions that most of us would never expect anyone could survive. The walls had been long destroyed by enemy bombing. But what not destroyed was the love --- despite missing the absolute bare necessities for shelter, the essence of what a family unit is remained untouched, faith and love.

It made me think how often do I (we) rush our visits with family or friends. If a devastating event struck our home or community, would we relinquish our humanity towards one another?

I observed in the documentary far more than the destruction. I saw hope. As long as we hold onto a shred of kindness and civility in all situations, the hatred of man towards man will never win. A home and community can’t be defined simply by man-made structures. It starts with dialogue, the sharing of ideas. Alhamdulillah it can begin over a glass of tea. May Allah SWT give freedom and justice to Gaza and all oppressed countries throughout in the world!

Treasure Hunting!

Even though it is wicked hot outside, it’s still a great day. There is this really neat flea market in town that I’ll go explore.

It has been a local hot spot for artist of varying types. There is never a shortage of something new and interesting to be found. I think I will get an ice cream and do a little people watching---then hit the market.

I mean it is an absolute feast for the senses! Chefs and farmers sell their products weekly. Antique lovers can mingle and discuss the latest find, while making that perfect discovery…to add to one’s own collection.

My favorite haunts are looking over the selection of books. Sometimes the artwork on the covers is more interesting than the book itself. But I can’t leave without wandering over to the jewelry and vintage clothing. Love, love, love it!

Okay so I am headed out. Insha’Allah I will bring home some treasures.

Stuck In the Middle

I think I am going through a mid-life crisis!   Wow, did I actually admit that?

In a society where women are being overwhelmed with commercials and other various advertisements…reminding us to win the war on anti-aging! When did getting older become this full on battle? Perhaps the same time the word “older” was banished from the beauty and fashion industry.

Some marketing executive –decides that as women we need to bring back that “rosy glow to our skin” that we had as a child…and suddenly we are stocking up one every new facial cream, lotion or serum that promises overnight results.

I love my age…LOL, I earned my age through years of laughter, blended with a few tears along the way. Every phase of life has something that is uniquely special and fabulous to offer. It is our own perspective on how we deal with it.  My decisions and choices should ask two questions. Does it follow the Sunnah? And how will it benefit me in my faith?

Some of you may know about my love/hate relationship when it comes to face book.  For the life of me,  I don’t understand the fascination. Well that being said, last week I opened an account. My primary reason was to read information posted by some people I follow on twitter.  Long story short, I closed the account the next morning. It just wasn’t for me.  Being a part of every social network in existence is not on my agenda.

There are things I did in my 20’s and 30’s that hold no interest for me today.   Regardless of our age, it doesn’t mean we should stop challenging ourselves, or making new discoveries.  Life is about evolving and becoming a better you.

But on the road to discovery---make sure that we are in the drivers’ seat and the direction we have chosen is ours. Insha’Allah there will be many new adventures on my horizon.   I will keep you posted about the good, the bad and even the mid-life! [Wink]

Even A Jewel Has Its Flaws

Like a slow moving breeze on a summer day, that is how I would describe my emotions recently. On my last post I expressed my feelings of loneliness. Now I know there are certain matters that we can’t control, regardless of how much effort we devote.

Usually I bounce back quickly from a little trip down melancholy lane and get on with my life. But it wasn’t as easy this time. What exactly was causing this feeling? It was me! I needed to look myself in the mirror and admit … I was slowly allowing parts of who I am, to disappear.

Becoming so rigid in my attempt to be a “good” Muslim was in fact, breaking my spirit! It was not Islam that said I have to be flawless or detach myself from life, that burden was placed on my shoulders by myself alone. If you try and hold onto anything with all of your strength, after awhile, you will only feel the pain…of holding on.

I have accepted Islam as my faith and I don’t regret my decision for one second! What I do regret is why I felt the need to do a 180 degree turn from the woman that I used to be.

I miss my creativity of making jewelry. I loved going to flea markets looking for really cool pieces of metal or old beads etc. and then creating something new and pretty. Even my style of dress! I love old vintage clothing, gauze blouses and skirts.

What I am, is a Muslim. How I dress, is modest and a personal expression. What I believe? I believe that I will be okay insha’Allah (God Willing). Often searching for a change in ones life begins when we look inward. I use to think making drastic changes in my life; I would somehow absorb the true meaning of being a Muslim, that idea was wrong.

I don’t need to hold onto Islam so tightly, trying to be perfect because, it will never happen. Instead each day is an opportunity for growth, forgiveness, patience and acceptance.

And all these things I have to learn to give to myself first. So I will release my tight grasp…because an open hand can let go of what is no longer needed. But more important, it is able to receive.

Alhamdulillah I will learn to live my life without forgetting that mixed among my flaws, there is some goodness. And that is a pretty good place to start, Allah knows best.

In a way I am like the jewelry I enjoy designing. A combination of past and present, with just the right amount of sparkle! Sometimes it’s the tiny imperfections that make one special.

Worrying...Yet Again.

Every now and then I like to blog about faith. I need to write about is as a continuous reminder for myself, as well as a purging of all matters that weigh me down. These past few days…have accumulated worries and doubts that I have quietly pushed further down inside my soul.

To me, prayers are invisible words that travel on an extraordinary path. Insha’Allah they appear before Allah (swt) in purity and form once they have been received. My imperfections in words are replaced with the intentions of my heart, and only Allah knows best.

Yes, life is unexpected and this is part of the test we face as Muslims. But I wonder how I [we] stay guarded against heartache, seduction, or even more difficult in my life…the loneliness?

Alhamdulillah there are lectures which are very encouraging. Reading the Qur’an and hearing its recitation provides a comfort that is beyond words. However, the soul is still contained in a human body, and it’s natural to want the comfort and companionship of another person. Truthfully we are not meant to be alone! Okay so that’s not a news flash I know…none the less I am viewing this life in the single lane, and it’s not so great.

LOL, I can hear some of you saying, “Nazeeha, the married lane is not what it’s cracked up to be either!” As I said these past few days, are not going to be remembered fondly (insert sad face now) but, insha’Allah happiness is on its way! Let me be realistic, “happiness” may be too much to expect. But it’s my nature to remain optimistic.

Allah’s Apostle said, “The invocation of anyone of you is granted (by Allah) if he does not show impatience (by saying, “I invoked Allah but my request has not been granted.”) Narrated Abu Huraira: Volume 8, Book 75, # 352:

You know I just had a encouraging thought…what if my future hubby stumbles across my blog…and says “Alhamdulillah” I think by the Mercy of Allah (swt) she is right for me!

Alhamdulillah for letting me vent and insha’Allah keep me in your prayers.

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall?

The glitter is settling over the new 2010 Miss USA, Rima Fakih. She was thrust into the spotlight for several reasons. She is the first Arab-American to ever hold the title, and secondly she been photographed in some less than tasteful positions. The photo of her pole dance was the favorite of the media.

Now as a Muslima I didn’t associate her with my belief and practice of Islam. Miss Fakih said in an interview with Tony Cox on NPR, “I am born into a Muslim family; however, I’d just like to say that my family is not defined by religion.” Further, that her, her sister and their family celebrate both Christian and Muslim faiths…and “prefer to be called Lebanese, Arabs or Arab-Americans.” Just as Miss Fakih does not represent or speak for me as a Muslim, I can't speak upon her actions.

Although she acknowledges both of her faiths, it was the connection to being a Muslim which secured the most media attention. And as the saying goes, any attention is better than none at all! For the record I don’t agree with that saying.

Now in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia they also have a pageant. However, this one is very different and it is called The Miss Beautiful Morals." The idea of the pageant is to measure the contestants’ commitment to Islamic morals…It’s an alternative to the calls for decadence in the other beauty contests that only take into account a woman’s body and looks, “ said pageant founder Khadra al-Mubarak. In theory this sounds like a great idea…but why do we need to make a competition between women at all?

I was wondering since it seems as if pageants will forever be a part of this culture and vast other cultures. What makes someone beautiful? And for my female readers and especially the sisters…would you enter, or have you entered your daughters in “beauty” competitions? As always…the male viewpoint is welcome here anytime.

Some of these competitions stress they are building self esteem. But it is my opinion that being paraded in front of judges and given a numerical score… is just the opposite.

I know by nature, as women we enjoy feeling and looking attractive. The problem for me is when beauty becomes the substance and essence of a person. It does not look like pageants are going to fade into the horizon in the immediate future. The most I can hope for my fellow sisters (Muslim) or not, is that we are beautiful as we are…and should never place the judgment by some panel to validate us.

It's a Beautiful Morning!

For me, my faith feels more grounded at this time of the day…the moments quietly waiting for Fajr. This is when my heart feels most at rest.

The precious Surahs of the Qur’an are being recited in my mind. The worries of yesterday have not yet spilled into my thoughts.

It is during this solitude, I am aware that Allah by His Mercy is among the lower heavens listening to the supplications being offered from humble servants. It is in these still moments, that I experience absolute tranquility.

It is during this time that my soul is being fed, helping me to continue throughout each day. Like an unexpected storm, I never know who, or what events, will enter my day trying to weaken my faith. I keep Dhikr close to me. It is both my protection and my happiness subhan Allah.

The scrapes and bruises of heartache that have been placed on my spirit do not change me. It is a small price to pay, for the greater reward that I am striving to attain insha’Allah.

“And let not their speech grieve you O Muhammad (pbuh), for all power and honor belongs to Allah. He is the All-Hearer the All-Knower.” Surah 10:65

The day has come in…and only Allah knows what it holds. But for now, I am stronger and better than the day before insha’Allah.

Good morning world, you look wonderful!

Not My Style

I admit I enjoy reading blogs. Seeing a glimpse into the mind and thoughts of a person has always intrigued me. I am not speaking in a psychological interest, but just how people of varying cultures and lifestyles see and experience life on a day by day basis.

When I started this blog, it was for the intention of journaling my life as a Muslima. I share some of my frustrations and joys of life here in the West. That has not changed. For those who have written me asking why I don’t talk about more ‘titillating’ topics, the answer is easy---it is not my style.

Those topics would be of no benefit, except the possibility of increasing more followers. Alhamdulillah yes, I could easily write about the hot buttons for discussion. The mention of co-wives, sexual frustrations for non-married Muslims, internet sex, pornography, marrying non-Muslim men ---all of these topics would attract readers.

I have read some blogs by Muslims that explore these matters and for those who learn from them Alhamdulillah---Allah knows best.

While I love the input I receive, and welcome continued suggestions (within limits, smile) I will leave those subjects for the experts. It is so very easy to venture into fitnah without our knowledge. As respect for my brothers who read my blog, Subhan Allah I would never discuss a topic that would make them (and primarily myself) uncomfortable.

Sure there are some who will say ‘We are all adults…that is what’s wrong with the dunya, we don’t want to face what is happening today!’ Yes, we are adults, however, we all know that kids are computer savvy. So I try and edit a little of what I discuss.

Insha’Allah I try and remember the taqwa of Allah swt in everything. So if you are looking to read some sexy stuff…mixed in with Islam, it won’t happen here.

I respect everyone’s choice to express their writing in a manner that is comfortable for them. Personally I find intimacy is best when expressed between husband and wife, now that can be very sexy! I don’t have a husband but, insha’Allah one day I will. Until then my thoughts on those matters are happily in my mind, with no need to be expressed.

…Hey, there are some Notes from Nazeeha, which will remain private. Love you all for the sake of Allah, and keep the comments coming.

Is That Mine?

Cell phones, okay so I have had mine for about 4 years (give or take) and to this day…I still don’t recognize my ring tone! Let me correct that statement, I recognize it, but I also respond to every ring tone I hear!

Seriously it’s like some bizarre Pavlov’s response (except for humans) when it rings, off I go, only to embarrass myself. I don’t think I am the only person in this universe who fought getting a cell phone, am I?

The only reason I succumbed to the pressure LOL, was because my boss demanded 24/7 access. Please I worked in Human Resources; there were not many “staffing” emergencies which occurred during the wee hours of the night.

So now I have this phone and even though it has been with me for sometime, we still haven’t created that bonding moment. You know that moment of discovery, people get when they realize, they can’t live without their phone!

We either know the type (or yikes!) are the type, who are never more than an inch away from their link to anything…other than what they are presently doing.

When did we as a society need to be so accessible? I was outside; doing nothing in particular and I was astonished how many people were on their mobile! Oh my goodness, even people sitting having meals were not fully engaged in the moment.

I guess this is just the times we are living in. And by the way…I don’t own one of these fancy iPhone or Blackberry’s or whatever the latest release is today. I am the proud owner of a Virgin Sidekick --- don’t judge me it was a good price and had a fully QWERTY pad for texting *smile*.

So while I may never experience that bonding moment with my Sidekick, I keep her somewhere in the house. As for responding to various rings tones that I hear…that may take e a little time. Oh my ring tone, get this…is an actual sound of old fashioned phone! Brilliant I know…LOL, gotta go I hear a phone.

Life Lessons, Repeat as Needed

I admit there are some lessons in life that need to be learned again and again. Sure we may think at times, that life has treated us less than fair. We somehow may feel we are being overlooked, while others are being given abundance.

And you know what? Life is not portioned out in happiness for some, and misery for others. This life for however long it is given to us…is guaranteed of providing one constant occurrence---trials.

There is not an individual in this world that will not, has not, or is not currently experiencing a personal trial or fitnah in their life. For me I am undergoing my own gift. The reason I will refer to my trial as a gift…is because insha’Allah it will leave me a better Muslima and person going forward.

Everyday our faith is being tested. How we react to situations and circumstances are dependent upon our level of tawheed, [Belief in Allah’s Divine Lordship; Belief in Allah’s Divine Nature and Belief in the Names and Attributes of Allah] As Muslims we raise our level of tawheed by endless worship to Allah (swt).

Sayyid Qutb (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “As for the believers whose hearts are connected to Allah, whose souls are close to Him, who experience His constant bounty – they do not despair of the Mercy of Allah even if they are surrounded on all sides by disasters and severe hardship. The believer is in the mercy of the shade of his faith, the pleasure of his connection to his Lord and the tranquility of his confidence in his Guardian even when he is in the throes of hardship and disasters.” ‘Reflections: Expecting the Best from Allah’ --- By Abu Muhammed al-Maqdidi

While I have much to learn in my life as a Muslima, I am assured of the Mercy and Forgiveness promised to us, from Allah (swt). Insha’Allah my purpose is not seeking to be perfect…but to seek the perfection in my search. Allahu A’lam (Allah knows best) what is planned for this Muslima, all I know is that…it will be given in His time and not mine.

I wish to thank my brother for sharing the above entitled book. Jazak Allah Khairan

You Have It, Now What?

The other day I was watching a show and the question was asked, “Do women still want it all?”

Women have been raised with the ---we can have it all --- attitude. Marriage and motherhood all while maintaining a successful career. We are led to believe it is all ours for the taking. Often while we are establishing our careers, we just assume life will pause and be there waiting for us.

Now this may not be a politically correct statement, but then my little blog is a collection of my thoughts and opinions, so the risk of any repercussion or backlash from the masses is minimal --- to non existent (smile).

Personally I never wished to be equal to a man. Nor do I consider myself a feminist, at least not by today’s definition.

A few of my friends not long ago expressed regrets over selecting career over family or vice versa. We relaxed around the kitchen table (usually for our girl’s day) and tried to justify having one versus the other. For myself I decided to scale back drastically in my style of living and work from home while I raised my son. For me it was the best choice, and I must say it was far harder than any job I have held outside the home--- in my life! (Smile)

For my other friends, their careers are their top priority and they never looked back. A couple of the girls do have it all...but admitted it's almost impossible keeping it all together and functioning.

A statement made by one of my friends was “I hate that men get to enjoy the career they want, and enjoy their kids!” We sat quietly for a few moments, because we could see her tears welling up in her eyes, she was not just upset, but angry! The silence led us to believe others at the table felt the same...but didn't want to say.

After a couple more hours of talking, laughing and enjoying good food…we hugged and said goodbye until the next girls day.

Later that night I wonder to myself, as women who are we competing with? Men for the most part will never be the one to stay home with the children. It is not there role. We were created by Allah SWT with specific roles as men and women in this life. Subhan Allah these roles are beautifully and perfectly designed.

I am not saying that women should not pursue a professional career. This is their choice. While for some women these days being a housewife and/or mom isn’t the most glamorous or financially rewarding life. I love the idea of being married again one day insha'Allah. So what may not be rewarding now, as believers we understand…our true rewards come in the next life.

So the question remains, do women still want it all? That question probably will never have an absolute answer. Alhamdulillah having it all---doesn’t mean we need it all.

It's Not Always Friendship

Recently I have revisited my definition of friendship. All too many times we (me included) are quick to use the word friendship in describing someone we are in fact, only well acquainted. True friendships are rare. They are developed over time and life experiences, not by following a person on a social network.

Usually I am a mellow personality…and this may be the problem. I blame myself for believing that each person I meet or have contact with…is automatically my “friend.” Let me state for the record that belief has been greatly diminished.

My lifestyle is uncomplicated and relaxed, with very little room for theatrics! Somewhere along the way, I have allowed other “sisters and brothers” to make me feel guilty. I have been made to feel guilty for not adhering to their way of thinking. If I follow or un-follow certain people on Twitter for example, comments are made.

Friendships for me are the most valuable relationships, other than husband and wife. Subhan Allah we are advised in Islam to befriend our sister and brother. We are told that we are all united by our faith…while this is true; it does not mean there won’t be conflict of opinions or major personality differences. We as Muslims are individuals, who share the same religion. However, sharing one’s faith…does not obligate us to be instant friends.

For any sisters or brothers who feel I have offended, or wronged them in the past I sincerely apologize. If I decide not to continue a social relationship with a person…that is my option. And I should not be made to keep explaining why.

So I am removing myself from high school behavior. I didn’t play the mind games then, and I certainly am not going to start at this time in my life. The only things I need in this dunya, I have already received. Alhamdulillah whatever else Allah SWT ordains I will be forever grateful, and what He forbids…I know is best.

My grandma use to tell me to be careful in speaking, when you are too tired or upset. She would say once some words are spoken, they can’t always be easily forgiven or forgotten.

Taking time to think before I speak has proven to be one of life’s best lessons insha’Allah. To my sisters and brothers in Islam, I love you for the sake of Allah as I am required. For my friends (which are very few) I love you…plain and simple.

..Lessons Learned

I was chatting earlier today with my dear brother about whether or not
he should start studying his books out of sequence, or wait he has then entire set. So I suggested he start reading the volumes he has now…because it’s possible there is a message he should receive now insha'Allah. Allahu A'lam
(Allah knows best)

We were briefly discussing spiders from a previous conversation, when I told him about the spider whose web protected the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his companion Abu Bakr (ra) while they were in the cave.

It was this delicate web of the spider that shielded them from the enemy. The web gave the appearance of existing across the cave for a long period and not having in inhabitants thus, making the enemy walk by the cave leaving the Prophet (PBUH) and Abu Bakr (RA) unharmed.

My brother then asked if I knew the animals mentioned in the Qur’an, which are not too be harmed. I thought about it, and replied with what I thought were the correct answers. Finally I admitted I didn’t know, and for me this was to be my lesson!

It’s not always the answer that is most important, but the approach and receptiveness we have while seeking the truth. Every moment is an opportunity. Every moment there is a message, and for me it was about surrender. Not allowing room for ego in my life! Now, while I thought finding the answer to my brother’s question was my task…my lesson was completely different!

Thank you brother for letting me realizes that to admit “I don’t know” is perfectly okay. Your patience reminded me that as sisters and brothers in Islam…we are to always treat each other with the best of manners.

Again my brother said it best, “Allah (SWT) guides in ways we don’t expect or recognize.” Jazak Allah Khairum!

Oh and for those who wanted to know, the animals not to be harmed as mentioned in the Qur'an are the bees, ants, birds…and the baby animals. The babies, while they may be halal for eating will upset the mother if taken from her, and for that they shall not be harmed. There may be others, Allah knows best.

Are You Kidding Me!

Two posts in the same day, you know it must be something special! Okay let me set the scene. I will skip telling my morning routine and get to the good stuff.

So I turn on my mobile and computer…sorry but I need to unplug at night and enjoy pure quiet. Okay, okay! Well I hear the little beep telling me I have a message. I check it and see that my sister has started her blog once again (wink) great I think to myself.

Then I check my emails to see if anyone has missed me desperately during the night…and as usual, no one has. After replying to some emails and checking my schedule, I decide to read my sisters blog (now I am speaking of my sister in Islam) in case any of you may remember, I am an only child.

Well, I am reading and I get maybe halfway into the post and she writes the following “its official: I’m Engaged Wow…but anywho”

Are you kidding me? First you don’t just announce you’re engaged in a blog, and you sure as sunrise…don’t say it mid way through your post! I was speechless, No I am serious, for a few moments I didn’t have the capability of speech or thought.

Alhamdulillah when my brain and motor skills we back in sync, I did what any other woman does when she hears great news (especially a pending marriage) I squealed like a little school girl! I immediately called her only to hear…voice mail. But, that was best because all I could manage through my tears of happiness was “Mabrook! Oh, sister I am so happy for you…”

If I had a daughter she would be just like you…stubborn beyond words, and filled with the greatest of hearts.

Masha Allah you got engaged in your own time and you announced it in the style that is all your own.

Love you bunches
P.S. Oh my goodness, your getting married!

Ummi/sister Nazeeha

In Between Prayers and Faith

In between prayers and faith, I discover a peace and quiet that reaches beyond this earthly horizon. Giving me a small glimpse of what I can only imagine is waiting in the Akhira.

Becoming content with me as I am…and not yielding to what others would have me to be, is indeed a prayer answered.

In between prayers and faith circumstances happen beyond my control. Subhan Allah however, they are not beyond the control of my Creator.

What I once felt would destroy my heart, on the contrary has given it wings. I take flight to rest my soul in the Mercy of Allah SWT…until I am ready to continue with what lies before me.

In between prayers and faith I now understand completely what it means to want for my sister and brother, what I want for myself. I say mabrook to my cherished sister.

Laughter and tears of joy on a sunny morning will become a treasured memory. I humble myself in prayer and give thanks for everything that is good in my life. Remaining in prayer I ask for guidance for the matters which cause me confusion or sorrow.

In between prayers and faith, we rejoice in the announcement of a new life. We grieve and remember fondly the souls returned back to Allah SWT. We take comfort in our final meeting which will never know separation.

When our time is completed in this life only Allah knows…but we will be asked about what we did here in this life. The things we did…or did not do between prayers and faith.