February 13, 2010

Domestic Violence in Islam

Every 15 seconds in the U.S. a woman will become the victim of Domestic Violence. As women, mothers, daughters and Muslimas we have to speak out. If we know of someone who is being abused and say nothing, we are continuing the cycle of abuse. If you are the victim…get help! It may seem impossible but take the first step my sister.

This issue affects women around the world, Muslim and non-Muslim. Domestic violence is not limited to nationality, ethnicity, religious beliefs or social status. May Allah give us all the courage to speak out…and if needed, to GET OUT!

February 13TH 2010 is Purple Hijab Day. Unfortunately even in our very own Muslim communities, the lives of our sisters are being ended often at the hands of a “loved one” Let us remember Asiya Hassan who was murdered at the hands of her husband. She is a representation of thousands of cases (most never even reported) which occur in this world every day.

Domestic violence, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. The information below is from a Domestic Violence website.


Do you:
• Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
• Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
• Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
• Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
• Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
• Feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner:
• Humiliate or yell at you?
• Criticize you and put you down?
• Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed to see your friends or family?
• Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
• Blame you for his abusive behavior?
• See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Does your partner:
• Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
• Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
• Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
• Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
• Force you to have sex?
• Destroy your belongings?

Does your partner:
• Act excessively jealous and possessive?
• Control where you go or what you do?
• Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
• Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
• Constantly check up on you?

If any of these signs are a part of your life, please seek help. Let us give a voice to this horrific tragedy. No matter what your abuser says, you did nothing to deserve this behavior!